Hard. Finding time to write a blog.
Hard. Not hitting the snooze button, but crawling out of bed to get truth in front of your face, before you are bombarded by the breakfast mess, lesson plans (what plans?), chores, worries, accusations, giggles, questions, errands, chatter and fears that will hit as soon as the kids open their eyes.
Hard. Getting back to running after a month away. Really am I that out of shape already?
Hard. Watching the kids you love hurt each other in words, actions, and attitudes.
Hard. Exposing sin in little hearts. Navigating their defiance or despair and reminding them of their great need and an even greater Savior.
Hard. Little hearts, till Jesus makes them soft.
Hard. Hearing a little one cry, "I keep asking Jesus to change my heart, but its still so ugly." Mommy's reply, "Baby, Jesus hears your prayers. Before our hearts can be made new, we need to see how ugly they are. God is giving you eyes to see. You wouldn't be sad about your sin unless He was making your heart soft to the gospel. Lets keep asking God to do His good work in your heart."
Hard. Waiting for God to do heart work.
Hard. Worlds colliding.
Hard. Hearing stories of pain, loss, and fear from little ones you couldn't protect.
Hard. He said....she said...no I didn't.....yes you did.
Hard. Being humbled. Finding yourself inadequate. Recognizing your own desperate need in ways that feel raw and unmanaged. Coming to the end of yourself and feeling like its just the end.
Hard. Believing the gospel when your heart isn't feeling it.
Hard. Fighting to depend on Christ's work for me rather than working to earn favor that is already mine in Christ.
Hard. Surrender.
Hard. Receiving rather than earning.
Hard....to understand....GRACE.
Good. God in all of it.
Enjoyed reading this. I relate to much of what you are saying. Thanks!
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