Surrender

August 10, 2013

There was significant moment today that is probably just the first of many of its kind.  Actually, it was a series of interactions between Mommy and the littlest one.  She is a bundle of energy and giggles and is quite determined to have as much fun as possible.  At one point today, Mommy interfered with that fun which set off a small chain of interactions in which she came to ignore me altogether.  None of the issues were big, but the pattern was concerning.  I half hoped it might blow over, but it didn’t and it became clear that we needed a little heart to heart.  After a series of time outs, assurances of my love, urging her to listen, obey and trust mommy, and making it clear that Mommy was in charge not Little One; her stubborn unresponsive head nodded that yes she would listen.  With that nod came a flood of tears as she buried her head in my shoulder and clung to me.  My tears followed and I just sat held my little girl who was searching desperately for a safe place, but trying so hard not to surrender.  How much that moment, or rather series of moments reminded me of myself.  What is the line from the Casting Crowns song?  "I’m trying so hard to stop trying so hard."  Surrender: such a difficult thing. 

I’m sure we are just entering what will likely be some difficult days ahead.  We leave our hotel at 4:00 tomorrow morning to start our long journey home.  From start to finish including all the layovers it will be about thirty hours of travel.  That is no small feat for anyone, but this will be undertaken by two tired parents and four equally emotionally spent children.  For three of them, they are leaving the only country they have ever known.  Emotions run deep, but children rarely have the words to articulate them.  We would especially ask for your prayers over these next two days as we journey home.  Pray for our hearts, transitions, travel time, rest, relationship with one another, sensitivity to each other, dependence of Christ and surrender to all that He has in store for us.  He has been so gentle with us, thus far in our journey and we trust Him for tomorrow as we ask for continued mercies.  Thank you all for your love.