Sleep

August 14, 2013      

Sleep.  Never before have I known how good sleep could be.  I’ve pulled all-nighters in college, delivered babies, kept crazy hours with babies, worked like a dog, poured myself out in countless ways depriving me of sleep, but these recent days take the cake.  Being in week two of very interrupted sleep and jet-lag going both directions, emotions all over the place and most recently sleepless children at night, I finally hit the wall yesterday.  I knew it would be a long day when I woke up exhausted, but it actually only got worse.  The kids were gems, which was a total gift.  Even a brief nap while kids watched a cartoon didn’t do much in the course of the day.  I think I may have fallen asleep briefly while standing up with my head on the counter.  The world became foggier and foggier as the day went on.  By mid-afternoon my body just started shutting down.  My stomach was churning, things were starting to spin.  I was freezing cold and couldn’t stop shaking or get warm.  The kids were getting concerned.  I didn’t know being tired could be so bad.  I finally called my little brother Joe.  I’m not sure I even got through my question asking if he could come over.  He heard my voice and the tears and replied that he would be right over.  How relieved I was when he walked in the house!  The kids jumped all over him with delight and I collapsed into a puddle.  Not sure I ever imagined my kid brother coming to my rescue all those years ago when I was caring for him, but rescue me he did.  Thanks brother.  Couldn’t have survived without you.  With his help we made it through the rest of the night and I crashed as soon as the kids were sleeping.  Thank you all for your prayers.  I only had one kiddo come down in the middle of the night and he went back to sleep without too much difficulty.  It was the first great night of sleep I’ve had in several weeks.  I didn’t know how much we were created to need sleep and just what a lack of it can do to you.  I think need is like that.  We have needs, but as long as they are met, we don’t think much of them.  Its not until we are lacking….and often lacking in a serious way do we realize just what dependent, needy creatures we are.  I wasn’t relishing the moments yesterday as the day passed in a fog, but there is something really beautiful about coming face to face with your deep need.  And that is coming face to face with the great need-meeter.  Perhaps it’s easy to say because I did get a good night of sleep finally, but there were a thousand graces throughout the day that He granted before the sleep ever came.  I’m not promised sleep tonight, but I am thankful for that which He gave me last night and will trust that He knows exactly what I need better than I do.  Today passed with much less difficulty and even some fun and challenging moments that required me to engage in a way I couldn’t have yesterday.  The older boys began building a bike trail in the woods with Mommy’s help a bit.  We met some of the family at a playground, went for a bike ride, tried our skills at some chores (went quite well actually), navigated our first sister fight (girls sure are different than boys), tried a couple games, and worked through some jealously issues (between 3 of the 7 over time with the dog…who knew a goofy pup could be such a hot commodity).   Anyways, we are wrapping up another day and tentatively heading to bed uncertain of how much sleep we will get, but trusting the LORD for everything we need.